Luna by Julie Anne Peters

Luna is a fairly old book, first published in 2004. But it's one that I've seen appear on nearly every (tragically short) list of transgender YA novels, so I wanted to give my two cents on why I found this book harmful to its trans readers.

The Plot

Luna tells the story of Reagan, a high school girl whose older sister, Luna, is a closeted trans girl. Luna isn't out to anyone but Reagan, and only makes her "transformation" - wearing feminine clothing and makeup - at night. By day, she goes by Liam, and struggles with the roles enforced on her as a boy. Reagan struggles with keeping her sister's secret, especially from her parents, but has mostly accepted Luna's nighttime identity.

Her sense of security is turned on its head, however, when Luna starts expressing a desire to transition more fully - presenting as herself during the day as well. Regan worries for Luna's safety and reputation, as well as her own, but reluctantly agrees to help Luna with some parts of her transition.

The novel follows Reagan's struggles to balance both Luna's impact on her life and her own social and academic life, as she is forced to choose between the two again and again - Luna or her grades, Luna or the cute boy in her class, Luna or her job. This struggle only worsens for Reagan as Luna becomes more aggressive in her attempts to present herself femininely.

Although the title of the book is taken from Luna's chosen name, we only see her life and efforts to transition through the eyes of Reagan, and while Luna's character is absolutely central to the narrative, Reagan's emotions and reactions to Luna's coming out are the main focus of the book.

The Queer Characters

For a book named after her, Luna treats Luna with anything but understanding. Right from the get-go, we understand that Reagan sees her sister as an inconvenience - her identity is something that Regan has to deal with, something that inconveniences and interferes with Reagan's life.

This is especially apparent in the times Reagan chooses to acknowledge Luna's identity. Despite understanding that Luna identifies as female, she still often refers to "Liam" as "her brother," especially when she is angry with Luna. When things are going well, and Luna is being cooperative or garnering Reagan's sympathy, she's granted she/her pronouns and her chosen name. But once Luna makes Reagan angry, Reagan defaults back to he/him pronouns and the name "Liam," as if Luna's identity is something that must be earned through winning approval.

And while many times Reagan does choose to support Luna, it's always grudgingly, as she is forced to give up something else in her life to support her sister. Her growing resentment towards her sister often leaves Luna alone, in potentially dangerous situations, simply because Reagan becomes fed up with her. It's hard to imagine that Reagan truly supports someone she calls "my living nightmare".

A person's transition can definitely be a stressful time, for both the person undergoing transition and those supporting them. Transitioning is ultimately Luna's own choice, however, and as it primarily impacts her own life, her feelings need to be put before the opinions of those around her. Reagan appears to support her sister, but never fully learns to put Luna's needs and feelings before her own.

Final Thoughts

Luna is not sympathetic to its trans character. It's sympathetic to the family and friends who are burdened by her trans-ness, by her very existence, and it's a narrative that almost hurts to read. Trans people should never have to be told that their identities are a burden on their loved ones,

Rating: 1/5

The Sin-Eater's Confession by Ilsa J. Bick

Normally I’d be on to shy away from books that deal with the death of a gay character (if only because they depress me too much), but the title of this one drew me in, and I must say it surprised me. Ilsa J. Bick presents a realistic, if upsetting, portrayal of the teenage struggle with confusion over sexuality and relationships on top of responsibilities to school and family.

The Plot

The Sin-Eater’s Confession is presented as a letter written by Ben, a medic in Afghanistan. In it, Ben recalls his time as a high school senior in small town Merit, Wisconsin. Through his work on a farm, he befriends Jimmy, a shy junior who mostly keeps to himself, but holds a secret dream of becoming a photographer.

This friendship is jeopardized when Jimmy wins a photography contest using a candid shot of a shirtless Ben without permission, grabbing the attention and scrutiny of the rest of the town.

Initially, Ben is furious with Jimmy. He’s valedictorian, he’s got his sights set on Yale – he has a reputation to uphold. And with this photo out in the open, the rumors of Jimmy being “that way” that have circulated for so long are suddenly attached to Ben as well.

But this anger is cut short when, soon after confronting Jimmy himself, Ben witnesses his brutal murder – and runs away, doing nothing to stop the murder and later hiding the fact he was even a witness to avoid attracting suspicion.

Ultimately, the book gives us almost no resolution to this story: readers are never told who killed Jimmy, or why, and Ben’s increasingly fragile mental state raises more questions about what he really saw than it answers. That’s not to say the ending felt unsatisfying, though. Frustrating, for sure, but after 300 pages of watching Ben sink further into his paranoid, skewed line of thinking, it’s hard to imagine things tying up neatly.

The Queer Characters
Ben’s struggles, with the possible exception of his murdered friend, are surprisingly reminiscent of worries many of us had in high school. Burdened by his worries about Jimmy’s sexuality (and later his murder), on top of stress from college applications and pressures from his parents and gossiping high school kids, Ben already seems like a character anyone who’s been through high school could sympathize with.

What really drew me to him, though, was the examination of Ben’s confusion over his own sexuality.

Going into the book, it was made fairly obvious that Jimmy would be the ambiguously gay character, and I had assumed he would remain the only queer character in the novel. It was a shock – although not entirely a bad one – to read Ben questioning his sexuality as well.

It’s not common in novels, YA or otherwise, to see questioning characters, although this is a struggle many young queer people experience. This makes it all the more important that when they do show up, their portrayal is a real way for queer readers to connect.

Ben’s character, buried under layers of teenage anxieties of which his sexuality is only one, does exactly this. His constant worry of the way others view him, his desperate attempts to prove that he’s straight for reasons he doesn’t fully understand himself, his uncertainty of what he really wants, all reminded me of the way it feels to come to terms with your sexuality in an environment that offers you no help or sympathy.

The lack of resolution does put a bit of a damper on this, as we never see Ben’s resolution to his feelings, or get a clear answer as to how he identifies. This follows the natural progression of his character, but from the perspective of someone looking for queer representation, it was a bit frustrating that he wasn’t able to reconcile his feelings.

Still, seeing this kind of character arc can allow queer readers to see a reflection of themselves in a way we usually don’t. This confusion, scary as it is, is a reality for many young people, and having media like this to better understand the feelings behind that can go a long way towards accepting them.

Final Thoughts
This is not an uplifting book. It presents realistic struggles of a young boy questioning his sexuality, but offers little comfort for these feelings. Still, having these feelings validated on the page is satisfying in its own way, for readers who don’t mind a dark story.

Rating: 4/5